I just can't.

[The-red-centaur]

@Appleblossom I think it's more affecting me because I've tried. I could have been her so many times. My dad would be devastated if one day I completed it like she did. I wish I knew my aunt, I have so many questions I want to ask.
I'm in this program for my suicidal ideation. It hurts.

[Appleblossom]

I hope the program is helpful. @The-red-centaur

The whole world is in a big mess. 

Dont take the world on your shoulders.

I spent a long time wanting to go and be with my siblings, but it would have left a bigger hole in the world, even though I feel insignificant.

You may be related to your aunt, but you are separate individuals with separate life histories, and separate strengths and weaknesses/vulnerabilities.  Weaknesses in the general sense, not blaming or anything. Some similarities with her and some with other people .. who may be grateful you are in their lives ...if not now .. then one day....

Your reasons for living belong to you...

I still battle SI weekly .. not daily ... and nowhere near as strong as it used to be.

You are a part of this community now.  You probably have things to offer that you dont even know. 

I talk to all my dead people and still hold them close. I even appreciate remembering them at odd moments, without going into all the reasons why ... but I am trying to build a life worth living.

Take Care

[The-red-centaur]

Question, maybe for @Former-Member
Are there any online chat services after 12am.

[Buddy13]

 Hi @The-red-centaur,

As you are probably aware Lifeline stops at midnight. After that time they encourage service users to call their hotline on 13 11 14.

If someone has gambling problems they can head to an online chat 24/7 at https://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/

Also Drug and Alcohol Counselling Chat is available 24/7. The appropriate site can be found through this link http://www.drugs.health.gov.au/internet/drugs/publishingcp.nsf/content/needhelp

Hope this helps a little.

Kind Regards

Buddy13

[The-red-centaur]

@Buddy13 none of that really applies to me. And I'm not in a position where I can make a call. Are there any other web chat services

[Buddy13]

@The-red-centaur

Not that I am aware of.

[The-red-centaur]

OK @Buddy13 that sucks

[The-red-centaur]

Today didn't go well... I went to a group with my dad and best mate that I used to go regularly. I had an anxiety/psychosis attack and left early. I couldn't deal with it. It used me my favourite thing of the week. I'm scared I'll never go back to normal me. I'm scared I'll never control my symptoms or my life.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hearing you @The-red-centaur ..... and it is a scary place to be, but listen to this.  The reasons there are support groups, therapy, medications, etc to help with your situation is because it is a known situation ..... others have been there before you, and others will come after you .....

Everybody is an individual, so as individuals we being our own personality, life experiences, etc into what ver we do and what ver happens to us, so that part of your situation is unique, but the supports, therapy and meds all work, which is why they have been developed.  The challenge now is to tailor them, to make them fit with you and your situation, and that takes time for trial, error, adjustment, practicing of new skills, and so on.

Stick with it Hon.  It’s a journey, and the more you put into it, the more you will get back, or stabilised, and the more you will be able to work with it to bring about the best you you can be.

[Zoe7]

That sounds super hard @The-red-centaur but you have made some great progress this week - by talking to people when you have been really down and even getting yourself to this group. It is not ideal what happened today but you went and there is always next week. Can you talk to your support worker on a plan for going next week and ways that you may reduce your anxiety in that situation if it happens again.