@Captain24 oh hun, I totally feel you. Like the signs were all there!! Unfortunately I think there's a lot to do with stigma - my mum was kinda mortified at first, and slowly over time has started to see all the ways that I am similar to her (yeah 3 guesses who I get my ADHD from lol). There's also the whole stereotype of ADHD being the little boy in school who won't stay seated and can't stop talking... And because it presents differently in uterine-bodied people like us (typically we're also socialised more firmly to be silent, thanks mysogyny), we are far more likely to be daydreaming than running amok.
I'm glad you do have more clarity now. It'll take time to really come to terms with all these aspects of yourself and your past. As to the 'why we were born this way' - because humans didn't evolve to all be the same. We needed a variety of skills amongst the tribe to keep it safe. A GP once told me that the ratio of ND to NT used to swing the other way (population was higher % ND than NT), because ADHD brains make excellent hunter-gatherers - we are restless so always on the move to find new food/shelter; we are easily distracted, which makes it easier to spot both prey and threats; we are awake later so we can keep watch whilst others sleep.
Then agriculture was invented and suddenly it was the people who could plan months ahead and sit around waiting for crops to grow who were then able to start having (and feeding) more kids, eventually tipping the scale the other way.
That's how it was explained to me, no idea if that is the fully scientific viewpoint but it makes so much sense to me, and has helped me feel less like I'm incompetent or weak, and helped to show me that my strengths are simply different, not absent.
I'm sorry that work was so nasty. You don't deserve to be scapegoated or pushed to do unsafe things. Which is illegal mind you, to ignore safety procedures... right? Worth reporting?
Hearing you hun. If there's anything you think could be helpful right now you let us know ok?
