Best Friends Club

[lonemushroom]

hey lovely friends

gosh is anyone else really surprised that it’s september already?? I can’t believe it. I’m feeling a lot of feels this morning suddenly realising my birthdays only exactly one week away from today. I get birthday blues a lot but I know this one will probably hit a lot harder with such an awful year I’ve been having. haven’t even got a clue what I wanna do. sigh. I don’t like how much harder loneliness gets when things like this pop up.

sending hugs to all you wonderful people that have been struggling lately 

[Cuddlebear]

@AuntGlow Hello lovely. How’s your is today unfolding for you? Trust is a very worthwhile thing to cultivate. How are you cultivating trust at home? It sounds like you’ve been quite busy too. 

I really hope you are right in that things will get better. I feel like I’m losing or lost hope. Wondering if things will improve. The thing I would like to see change right now are the symptoms I have from mental illness. It’s unbearable living like this 😞 

[AuntGlow]

Good morning @Cuddlebear 🌞

Apologies for my delay and thank you for asking about my day. 

Today, I am taking it slow, I have a friend's birthday dinner later. Yesterday, I spent time with my mum, which was nice - we explored some wholesome rural towns. 

ooh, that's a great question. I am trying to connect to my 'self' energy more, which is a practice from IFS - are you familiar with Internal Family Systems at all?

I get this feeling of losing hope... is it possible to focus on the things that are feeling 'okay' and building from there?

Not perfect, not amazing, but just okay?

That may help with this feeling, without pushing too far beyond where you're at. I hope that makes sense. 🥰

I am so sorry to hear that things are feeling unbearable... who have you been able to turn to this weekend for support? 

[Cuddlebear]

@AuntGlow   Good to see you on the forums lovely. A birthday dinner sounds very pleasant this lazy Sunday! Glad you got to spend time with your mum. I too love exploring towns 🙂 

I haven't heard of IFS. I’ll have to take a look into it. It sounds like something that is really aiding recovery and stability for you. 

Today I’ve been trying to intercede my thoughts of disaster. I’ve had some success. Telling myself that not Everything is not a train wreck and that I am safe and that while I appreciate my brain trying to protect from danger that there is no actual danger. Foot tapping has helped a little too. 

I agree it’s ok not to be feeling perfect. My psychologist pointed out considering what I’ve been through it is normal to be in flight / fight while also being frozen. I am too hard on myself. I must learn to think more lovingly towards myself like I do towards other people. It’s just terribly hard when you are at rock bottom with severe symptoms of trauma and major depressive episode. What I admire about myself right now is that despite everything I’m still trying to get better. That tells me there’s some hope there too. 

Normally I’m just all alone which is unfortunate as it’s obvious to me I need loving people around right now. However, a friend came on Friday and they are staying a few days because they were worried about me and wanted to provide company. I felt so seen and loved by this gesture. 

Id love to hear about IFS if you have time. 🙂 

[AuntGlow]

Thank you - same goes! @Cuddlebear 🥰

Happy to share more about IFS, I think it could be quite helpful for your current experience actually.

IFS operates under the idea that we have multiple different parts of ourself, which have developed over time to help us navigate life/protect us from harm, failure, pain, etc. 

It also acknowledges that we have our core 'self' energy, which comprises of 8 C's: calm, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness. When we meet these other parts of ourselves, begin to integrate them, and show them love, we can make space for this self energy to shine and have more stage time! 

It's helpful to work on it with a therapist, but it's definitely something you can do on your own. For example, you could notice a big feeling and become curious about what part of you it's coming from/what their role is/what they are needing to feel safe. 

You might also be able to note when you are feeling any of the 8 C's - that's you getting into your self energy! i.e.: the part of you that is most trusting and grounded. 

Thinking lovingly towards ourselves as we do to others is genuinely so hard with trauma and adversity at play, you are right. And I think being able to see your will and fire to forge forward is incredible - yes, there is absolutely hope. I think you are so capable. 

I am very glad to hear you have a friend with you, that must feel really heartwarming and reassuring. You deserve to feel seen and loved. What have you been doing together? 😍

[PeppyPatti]

Good to see you @lonemushroom 

@Oaktree @AuntGlow @Cuddlebear @tyme 

[Cuddlebear]

@AuntGlow   Hello friend. How are you today? Is it a busy week for you? 

Thank you so much for explaining IFS. I can totally see why it’s helpful and I really like how it breaks down into different parts of ourselves. I do agree that our core self encompasses all the traits and values as identified in IFS. The focus of love and integration is awesome as it does allow our core self to shine and to be prominent too. 

Have you been using IFS for long? I’ll do some more reading on it online to get to know what it entails too. There’s likely some simole yet effective ways I might be able to incorporate it.  

My friend and I have chatted and gone for long walks in local park and let my fur baby have a nice big run. The local park is massive. Lots of walking trails and awesome trees/plants too. We’ve done a little housework and he’s helped with preparing meals too. 🙂 Neither of us drives so we’ve been local and it’s just helped having someone here.