Lived Experience Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Zoe7 ...,.

Was busy with last day for our visitors this morning ..... went walkabout a bit with one of them ..... they are clearly worried about my mr, and the rest of us in relation

to that, and understanding now about why we are here and how critical it is for the kids to get up and going with their studies, and life in general.  In the shade of that realisation, they probably realised also that it was less than ideal that my mr. invited them to be here this last week ..... but were gracious enough to not even go there with questions or suppositions that would clearly have been very awkward ..... hopefully they will be a bit content in feeling that they provided a little time out for me, and the kids in not expecting much of them.

Mr. is staying a couple of days longer interstate as D1 has been unwell, and although she is on the mend, this is an expression of anxiety and concern, and in amongst the keeping of his daily regimen he intends to visit with her and support her in whatever way he can.

Thankfully I now have a carer for D2, and said carer was free to cover an extra day this week 👍

Decided to do something with my hair today, and something with my nails a few days ago, so I am looking a little less like something the cat dragged in ..... oh, wait ..... we don’t have a cat ..... 😏

[Zoe7]

It is a good thing you don't have a cat with all that is going on for you all Hon but I know how much you love them and wished you did have one. I will give your niece an extra big hug from you today and a few extra kisses 😺

As usual you have put yourself out to look after your visitors but that is no surprise - you always put others first  It is good that that has given you some respite too though and allowed you some special moments with the visitors in amongst a busy week for you too.

Hopefully this will be the start of the extended famiy opening their eyes as to your situation with Mr. and as that becomes more known it filters back to Mr. that something is wrong with his situation. I know it is unlikely to waver him from his regimen but any little seeds planted can hopefully grow in his own mind that others are noticing how very unsustainable this all is longer term. 

Sorry that D1 has been unwell - hope she will recover quickly. I know I was really worried about Toby when he was sick so I can imagine you are worried about your D1 as well. 

So glad you have got a good carer for D2 and that she is available for extra days during the week. I am really pleased for you that that part of your life has actually come together - and it is great for D2 to get to know someone else in her life.

What did you do with your hair this time? Is it still blue? My hair is getting very long and needs a trim as well - might do that on the weekend when I have a little more time. It has been over 20 years since I have been to a hairdresser - always cut my own hair. The last time I went to a hairdresser I didn't like the way it was cut so I went back to doing it myself - much cheaper too lol

Heading out to psych then DBT and pdoc soon - will check in again this afternoon when I am home. Hope you have a great day Hon 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Have a good day @Zoe7 💚

I have cut my own hair for many years too .... going to a hairdresser regularly is something new for me, and comes under the New Years Resolution I made last year, when my life circunstances changed so dramatically .... again .... to focus harder on my self-care, especially in finding others to take care of me in ways that I had been taking care of myself ..... then of course I had a hair-dressing “accident” where one bleached out the back of my hair, thinking that I must have wanted it to be uniformally grey .... sigh, and left me with a major out-growth of what was then an auburn colour instead of my former ash brown .....

I have been covering with toners ever since, but have enough outgrowth now and the auburn colour has dulled enough that silver toners will probably do it for me from here .....and toners condition my hair besides.

I do get the hairdresser to curl my hair, because it helps to control my natural combination of wild waves, curls and friz.  That lasts a day or so before it tempers down to more manageable, declining waves, and when it starts looking cat-dragged-in I return to get sorted out again .... lol

[Zoe7]

I have naturally curly hair and that is part of the reason I keep it long as it drags the curls down and makes it more wavy @Faith-and-Hope  My natural colour is a very dark brown but at present it is more a red (orange) light brown. I have natural red undertones so it comes out easily when it is coloured. I like it the colour it is now - covers some of the grey but that is ever increasing - sure you know what that is like lol

It has been a long day for me - just getting home from DBT and appointments. Also needed to do a small grocery shop and get new wiper blades for my car (will install them later). For now I am resting with little Toblerone by my side. It fees like I have done more today that I would have if I was at work. Definitely need to work out these Wednesdays as I am sure I will not be able to sustain it as it is and work 4 days as well. I think once I get through these next couple of weeks and all the programs at school we are running are underway I will feel a little more settled.

Psych went well today - she was so happy for me that you were back and also happy that I have landed where I have and the staff and students are lovely. We didn't talk about much today - did some relaxation instead. I can see that these sessions will be more valuable if I spread them apart more and then I will have more to talk about.

I think your Wednesday is your longer day (may have gotten that wrong  - wouldn't surprise me today) so hope you are having a great day and enjoying your classes. I have an update on my day but I will put that on ANC for you to read later.

[Zoe7]

How has your day been @Faith-and-Hope? and how are your baby dragons going at uni?

[Faith-and-Hope]

Good so far @Zoe7, and mr.f&h might be staying longer in the west to be close to the unwell one there.  

Looks like he is realising the advantages of having a carer for D2, because this week’s care has extended to two and a half days, and next week might too.

While D1 is going to be okay, I suspect that untreated anxiety is driving my mr.in his eating disordered behaviour,  and with what he is doing to cope on a daily basis, he has no anxiety-relieving behaviours left to fall back on without escalating what he is already doing ..... needless to say it is already so extreme, I don’t know what that would look like, to be honest.

Staying close by our girl is clearly bringing him some comfort.  I will go and visit her on the upcoming long weekend, but from the sounds of it, everything is in hand.  Still, it’s hard to be far away when something isn’t great.

[Zoe7]

I can imagine how hard it is for you to be so far away from D1 @Faith-and-Hope but it is also good that Mr. is there looking out for her and you can visit soon too. There is no doubt that Mr. loves and cares for the baby dragons but the expectations he places on them can get out of control when he needs to be in control. To him it must feel like he is failing when the kids are not doing so well - that is typical of someone that has control issues. It will be good for you, S2 and Visual especially to have that little bit of space - especially as they are finding their feet at uni. The reduced tension in the house must also help D2 and it sounds like the carer you have for her is a gem.

Keep doing what you are doing Hon - it is helping your kids with you there and also helping you 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Have walked home with D2 and need to get cooking now @Zoe7 .... back later .... 💚

[Zoe7]

Have to head to bed Hon. Hope you have had a good dinner and a nice night with your baby dragons @Faith-and-Hope  Goodnight my angel - will catch up with you tomorrow 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Goodnight @Zoe7  💐💤

Baby dragon’s fed and chirpy ..... 😏