Difficulty talking to psych

[Maggie]

@TheVorticon . Take care.

[saltandpepper]

@TheVorticon And that's something you can work out together with your psych. It might even be helpful for them to hear that you struggle to let them know when things are overwhelming. The shutting down response is something the psychologist should be able to recognise, so if you are able to talk to them about it, it might be a helpful indicator for them to go by in future.

[TheVorticon]

Thanks @Maggie, you too. 💚

Yeah @saltandpepper. It's two different people though, psych and counsellor (who I started seeing to help me with problems with my psych). Maybe time to go back to just the psych if counsellor has trouble staying within scope. Doesn't change your point though.

But I also have trouble realising when I need to let them know. Psych still isn't great at picking up on it over video sometimes but he's suggested that I try to notice if I'm holding my breath and stop, as a way to relax enough to get some words out. The problem really happens most when they're monologuing. 

[saltandpepper]

Yeah, that's Ok though @TheVorticon Being able to recognise the signs in hindsight is actually a very positive indication that you have some self awareness. It might take a while before you're able to recognise those withdrawl signs as you're experiencing them. Time, patience, persistence and practice. You'll get there my friend.

[TheVorticon]

Had a pretty good session with psych. We stuck to light topics and I was pretty talkative, which is very different to some sessions from the past. I didn't feel too weird about telling him some things and it was actually kind of like a normal conversation.

Gotta say it's been nice being able to leave these sessions with him feeling ok with myself and not stuck in self-harm thoughts.

[Maggie]

@TheVorticon  That sounds like an improvement.

I hope today, you are still ok with yourself. Take care. ⭐️⭐️

[TheVorticon]

Thanks @Maggie 🙂 Yep definitely an improvement. Even psych said he was pleased. Plus then I don't end up so worried about him not liking me if I'm able to have a normal conversation with him.

How are you doing?

[Maggie]

@TheVorticon  It takes so much pressure off. By the sound of things, your psych has finally heard you. That’s a huge and important step forward. I’m pleased for you.

I’m up and down. Some days I wonder how I’ll make it through, other days are ok enough. It’s a rough journey, that’s for sure.

I hope you aren’t too hot where you are, unless you like the heat that is. We are have ping perfect weather down this way. I was listening to rain on my roof this morning. It’s sunny now, and everything is growing overnight.

Take care 🍓🍓🍓🍓some strawberries from my garden if you like them.

[TheVorticon]

@Maggie I hope things have been more up today than down. Sorry to hear that things are so rough. You're very resilient but it sucks that you have to be.

It wasn't super hot here over the weekend. I was lucky and had a nice breeze for most of yesterday. That's nice about the rain and growing. Unless it's grass that you have to mow!  Sometimes I like to think about plants having simple lives where they just have to greet the sun and drink some water, and don't have to deal with busy thoughts. 

Thank you for the strawberries, I bet they're delicious 🙂

[TheVorticon]

I'm worried that psych is going to call off my last session for the year because it's becoming too complicated to organise. I don't think I'm just overthinking it.