Why is it so hard to cope after such a good day? Yesterday was really good travelling to Katoomba and spending the day out with mum. She is a trigger but most of the day was ok with her until the last 45 minutes of the drive home when she had to one up me against my brother.
Today is really hard. I’m tired and totally unmotivated. I’m feeling really down and out. I just want to curl up and forget that I exist. It’s all too much to face.
I have managed to do the ironing and clean the disgrace of a kitchen but it was so hard and that’s all I can do. I had to force myself and now I just feel exhausted.
I really feel worthless and ungrateful that I feel so bad again today. Not everyone could do what I did yesterday. I’ve got nothing.
Am I just a selfish horrible person?
I know it’s nothing compared to what everyone else is going through. While I’m feeling like I don’t want to be alive right now I know it’s not as important as everyone else. I’m not worth as much as them.
I'm safe right now.
