I can’t cope

[tyme]

LOL. Sounds like you use reframing in the opposite way @Captain24 !

Look, to be honest, we all have our own strengths and weaknesses - ASD/ADHD or not. And we all just learn to navigate life.

In the past, I hated that I was so stupid and different, but later I learnt to accept it, then like it, then embrace it, and now I am on the cusp of being able to celebrate the differences. It's a journey.

Did you tell your parents? 

[Captain24]

I’m good at reframing that way! @tyme 

Yeah I get that. It’s now to learn what is acceptable and what isn’t and to work with it not against it like I’ve been doing. I always knew I was different but that was just me. I do think it was part of the reason I was bullied was that I wasn’t different. 

I told mum about the adhd but not the ASD. That was just too much. She already thinks I’m crazy I just don’t need to add to it. 

Have you looked at medication for your add? 

[tyme]

Recently, I've been getting more and more frustrated with my inability to focus. It really makes me want to take meds, but then, I don't even make time to go to the doc, let alone an appointment for ADHD meds. I know it will help, but I'm just uming and arghing. Let me know how you go after taking yours.

Also, I'm more towards wanting to taper my current meds. It's been many many years on these meds. But there i also an element of fear in that I'm doing so well on them - is it worth rocking the boat? @Captain24 

How did your mum react to ADHD? Is there much understanding?

[Captain24]

I will. It’s not something you have to take all the time though. But I’ll see if it calms down my mind and stops all the noise @tyme. Wouldn’t it be great if that’s all I need to get better. I’m kinda pinning my hopes on them. 

She offered to take me off a med so this wasn’t an extra one but after the battle of coming off the munchie med I wasn’t ready to go through that again. Apparently it’s the hardest one to come off though. But I feel different being off them. While there is so much noise in my head it’s kinda clearer than when I was in that med. it’s hard to explain. I will definitely not go back on them. But I now feel closer to being ‘normal’ I actually have some ok days and not as many extreme bad days, there is still quite a few but it’s not constant like it was. Plus the struggle with the night could be exhaustion from my head running all day. I wake up between 12 and 2 every night with my mind racing. 

I think you need to do what’s best for you. Are you doing so well because of the meds? Would you be doing better without them? Could you cope if coming off them didn’t go well? From my experience it didn’t go well! But that’s me and everyone is different. Do you want to risk it? I think these are all things to consider. That’s my opinion anyway…

She didn’t really say much just asked if the med helped with reducing my appetite. All she cares about is body image. She said all this horrible stuff about her body which then shamed me as she is underweight and I’m obese. Thats not the ED talking that’s just what I am. It’s why people don’t get that I have an ED

[tyme]

There's a lot in that. A lot to think about.

Yes, I believe I am so well because of the meds I take. It's like the perfect concoction for what I need. I'm just concerned with the munchie med because it's not good for my health in terms of the munchies. I feel I use that med for sleep. I actually cannot sleep without it. But I'm hopoing melatonin might be better. I did hear something about melatonin not being as safe as we may think though. That was on the news today.

The munchie med also has an element of being an anti-anxiety med with the dose I take. So I don't know if that is keeping me well too, because I can be the calmest person out when things are rough, even though my head is a mess - I don't show it.

So yeah. I need to consider it strongly. Do I want to upset the apple cart when I'm doing so so well? To be honest, I CAN fight the cravings with munchie med, but I often don't bother.

I'll wait to hear how you go with it @Captain24 . I'd be interested. I can see why it's a 'good' thing for you to try. I know how loud the noise has been for you lately.

[Captain24]

I totally get why you want to come off it. @tyme If you doo I would suggest to do it slowly like drop the dose once every 4 weeks. I left it 3 weeks at one stage and the withdrawal wasn’t as bad. 

Apparently the adhd meds help with sleep as they quieten down your brain allowing for better sleep. I’ll see how it goes but I’ll definitely keep you updated as I go through it. They can be stopped at anytime without any effects. 

The noise has been a lot and it’s so exhausting. 

Im a little excited right now. My dog hasn’t vomited for nearly 4 hours! 

[tyme]

Seriously, when they say, no rest for the wicked, it's like what pops into my head! Pix is vomiting? What's going on? @Captain24 

The two older kids watched Tarzan on my ipad today. I'm taken them to see the Tarzan musical soon, so I wanted them to know the storyline. I didn't know the musical was for 6 years and up... I booked the little one too and she's only just turned 5 so I hope it's not too scary for her. She doesn't do scary.

I couldn't get front row tickets this time. I got the second row. The kids like to sit at the very front row so they can see the musicians play.

I'm a bit uming and ahing about this one. I just heard it on the radio and booked it without even checking it out properly.

What's next on your agenda? Don't you only have a week to go before going back to work?

I'm starting to wrap up now, but will catch you when i'm on next. Hope you stay well!

[Captain24]

It’s Jett that’s vomiting this time. I have medicated him though so hoping that works. I can afford a vet visit. @tyme 

Tarzan sound interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen it. 

I have to do the lawns this weekend and I go back to work on Wednesday. I’m totally not looking forward to it at all. I’ve enjoyed my time off. 

Have a good night and I’ll see you when I see you

[Captain24]

Just incase you pop in @tyme 

Jett has just been to the vet as he vomited all night and would even look at his breakfast. A blood test, 2 needles and medication for 2 days. $500 see ya later!! 

I was going to do the lawns today but it’s freezing cold, drizzling and sleeting snow. I’m not going out there! 

I’ve just taken my first tablet so I’ll see how it goes! 

[Captain24]

My mind has slowed down. I’m feeling a little relaxed. It’s just so nice to slow down. I’m watching tv and I’m focused on it. My mind isn’t wondering.