Lived Experience Forum

[Staceace111]

Hey, just wondering peoples views and tips on how to bounce back from a mental breakdown and how to minimise it becoming worse during one? What self help stuff do you do? @I'm depressed, paranoid, obsessive and also have a substance abuse problem and intrusive suicidal/self harming thoughts.

[tyme]

Hey there @Staceace111 ,

Welcome to the forums. 

It takes a lot of courage to reach out. 

Most, if not all, member here have been through their own mental health struggles, and can share some of the strategies that have worked for them.

Feel free to have a look at:

- Coping Toolbox ( what is in yours to help you cope ) 

- ~ The Toolshed ~ 

We look forward to hearing from you. Please know you are not alone.

Tagging other members, @PinkFlamingo @Shaz51 

[Musteatthelemon]

Hi Staceace111,

I have them on the reg. What works for me won't necessarily work for you. I can be in a mental place where i wish i was dead to escape the pain of who i am (i am safe and have support for those reading, but its important to recognise that this is a common thought for people experiencing mental illness), and then i can get back to experiencing joy and recognising my value and strengths again.These are some thoughts on dealing with thus:

- trying to minimise, for me, paradoxically makes things worse. It compounds on the experienve by adding more negative thoughts about life impact/whats this episode 'means' about you/etc. Of course use any and all tools that work for you, but dont try to 'push through' without addressing the severity. You cant mKe it go away by resisting or minimising its impact.

 - My tools are talking to my extremely supportive family member and even moving in with them for a few days, approaching my workplace and taking time off, and finding meaning in the event by journalling. I like to reflect on what happened and what i could do differently (kindly, not critically).

 - each time you get more used to things and can look for patterns and the uncertainty lessens when youve got more data!

 - knowing that people can recommend all the exercise/medication/self talk/therapy/meditation in the world anf that sometimes, nothing is enough to keep you functioning normally, and that sometimes you truly have to put the tools down and be unwell for a period of time.

- for me, i resisted accepting my mental challenge as a part of me that will never be truly gone, for a very long time. I could only learn to accept its omnipresence by experiencing acute periods of its wrath. I would not choose to be emotionally unstable, hypersensitive, with low self esteem and difficulty building a career and social troubles. But once it kicks you a few times, you might be able to accept it and accept that  your life will be different, and this in itself relieves so much tension.

I am a priveleged person with access to supportive family members and a well-paid job that i can afford to step away from when required, so i dont know if you can relate to these thoughts or not and i apologise if some of these resources are not available to you.

Well done for resching out. I can see you are trying your best and wish positive emotions on you!

[PinkFlamingo]

Hey there @Staceace111 🌺🙂

I’m really sorry to read what you’re going through right now, it sounds really difficult ❤️‍🩹

I have been in a similar position with feeling very distressed and searching around for means to recover, like feeling around the floor of a dark room endlessly. 

I have also used alcohol in the past to buffer the pain, the rawness of hurt, and aftershock of breakdown, which eventually became its own form of harm insomuch as it didn’t help my brain in the medium and longer term for recovery, and after the initial stages of my breakdown, it was contributing to the SI/SH thoughts - I think because my brain was consistently dealing with the effects of alcohol toxicity to some degree, which didn’t allow it to be cellularly healthy. 
However, the transitioning from a not so helpful coping mechanism to some better, more physically and emotionally healthy coping mechanisms wasn’t easy. 

Finding things that gently nurture you along, day by day, could be helpful… I found that just insulating myself from emotional sensitivities with doing little things to protect myself from thinking endlessly about my situation was very healing. I made sure to eat breakfast - even though I struggled to get out of bed - drink enough water, and at least have a meal at the end of the day, to give my brain and body the stuff it needed 🌺

I also found little things, like a 30 min conversation with a MH support service, when not in crisis, just to have someone hear me a little bit, and just show some sympathy, also helped. 
I also did colouring in of mandalas, some drawing, some story writing (I don’t journal well so I write short stories based on events I have experienced to externalise them), sewing, cooking biscuits..just a little thing each day, to get my brain working on something other than distress, and to get my body moving, and also to g ie me some emotional respite from what’s happened to me. 

I did feel that everyone was against me - the emotional sensitivity I had was extreme, and I had very little buffer zone/boundary for tolerating anything but the most gentle approaches by health professionals. 

I constantly worried about things I usually wouldn’t worry about, which then made me incredibly anxious (I was checking doors and windows often to make sure nobody was able to come in).

taking it slowly, not rushing myself, but trying each day to make a change, and not berating myself if I didn’t make change that day, was how I recovered. 

it may feel almost impossible, but I can say with confidence that recovery can happen 🙂🌺

Holding space for you, and here for you if you’d like to chat. 

I hope hearing some of this has been helpful, and it helps with not feeling so isolated in an emotionally distressing situation 💜🌺

tag me using ‘@‘ if you’d like to 🙂

🦩🌺

[Staceace111]

@tyme @PinkFlamingo @Musteatthelemon  thanks for getting back to me and sharing youre own experiences. Honestly I'm struggling pretty bad and don't have really have a crisis plan. I think I'm in crisis mode currently, I've started planning my will and we'll yeah as I stated earlier I'm having the "SI" and  SH and thoughts, I've had the before and have SH before but this.. I can't even..I there...  there intrusive, becoming more consistent and constant. I've suffered with depression and anxiety ect since I was 14 and I'm 30 now. I've had a few blissful moments where I thought I was cured and a mostly flat negative outlook on life most other times (although i have been through childhood  trauma and complex traumas throughout my life) bug over the last week, it's  just all built up over time and i just cant keep doing my life. It's been intense and harder not to act upon the intrusive thoughts and  I'm trying hard to try find other things or ways to cope and have spent the last few hours organising my will!! I just don't know anymore

Eg showers

Dressing better to try feel better about myself

Trying to deal with relationship stuff and talk with someone about stuff

Drug abuse, alcohol abuse

Distraction 

Doing somthing I like

Using stress balls/patty's etc

I'm just.. I don't know what to do or how to stop myself thinking and feeling this way any more.

[Jynx]

Hiya @Staceace111 - I'm so sorry to hear that things have gotten so incredibly overwhelming for you. 

I'm going to flick you an email to check in, keep an eye out eh? 

Sounds like you've been carrying this for a really long time, and sometimes we get so exhausted from it all, that suicide can seem like the better option. In my experience of having SI, it's our brains trying to respond to extremely tough circumstances with an equally extreme solution. 

Do you have much in the way of professional mental health support? A therapist or support worker, or someone with whom you feel safe enough to talk about the intensity of your suicidal thoughts?

[PinkFlamingo]

Hey there @Staceace111 🌺

I’m really sorry to hear how hard things are right now..I really do agree with @Jynx that extreme distress drives the sense for an extreme solution. I have also felt that way myself in the past. The only thing that has helped is finding a way back from the feelings of extreme distress (whether that was anxiety, depression, or cPTSD).
I can hear how hard it is for you, and that going to the point of making your will is not really where you want to be right now. 

I know the timing may not be right, but in terms of safety planning, there is the Beyond Now app which facilitates making a safety plan… I’ll pop the link here in case there’s a time you’d like to use it, however I really would like to gently say that for the now, we are here to hold space and sit with you 🙂🌺💜

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/suicide-prevention/suicide-safety-planning 

[Staceace111]

I am safe

[Staceace111]

I am safe

[PizzaMondo]

Hello @Staceace111 🙂

Glad to know that you are safe today. I am curious how you will be spending your day today? What's one thing you'll do just for yourself that brings joy, comfort, and/or peace?

Warmest,
PizzaMondo 🙂