Lived Experience Forum

[PizzaMondo]

When I re-read what I typed, I thought about my feelings around an episode of Arthur when he gets a library card.. and apply it in the same way. Maybe an 'acquired' taste to think the library is 'cool' - just like vulnerability.. but I understand it as knowledge and .. isn't knowledge, power or something? 😛 I want to be able to identify, locate and learn about myself and what's going on within me, my brain and my body, and if myself, and others can learn to do that too, we can expand our self-awareness and find what brings us joy and bask in that more often than living in our heads! @Appleblossom

P.S. Hello 🙂 hope that made sense 😛

[D1ng0]

Thanks again @PizzaMondo. 

Yep, there is a lot of unaddressed trauma which prevents certain people in my family from supporting me. And there is one family member who is actively hostile/unsupportive, and who caused my first experience with suicidal thoughts a few years back (due to rejecting my transition), so there's also that in the mix. Overall, mental illness is not easy to discuss with my family. No worries about the length of your reply, I appreciate it. Doesn't feel like a rant at all. (I'm really glad you've found that personal progress in your own life, too. Thanks for sharing that.)

Yeah, I'm a bit more cautious of online support nowadays. SANE is one of the few websites where I feel relatively safe to seek mental support. I ignored the bad reviews of The Talk Shop, only to have an awful, humiliating experience with one of their online therapists, followed by awful conduct from their receptionists... So, needless to say, if I see several poor reviews of an online service, I'll generally be a lot more careful than I used to be. Once bitten, and all that.

I know that online support services aren't always seriously bad, and I've just had a run of bad luck. I'm just very cautious. But I'll take all suggestions, honestly.

[D1ng0]

Hey @Appleblossom thank you for the support. Even if there are no answers, feeling less alone is valuable, so thank you for that. I tend to be very careful when a mental health organisation has negative reviews, as ignoring those reviews has put me in very mentally dangerous situations before... But I also recognise that I could have a good experience, despite someone else's poor experience. So, I'm open to all suggestions. Thank you for the empathy about complicated mental health histories within a family, too.

[D1ng0]

Hey @Dimity, thank you for replying, and hello again. I'm still feeling pretty much the same, but it's nice to have people replying here as I deal with work stress today, on top of all this mental health stuff. No worries about not having any answers, I just appreciate the (digital) company. I'm sorry to hear you don't have much support, similar to me. It really does suck.

Absolutely understand if you don't want to share this (I don't know if it would be a privacy concern somehow), but what tracker app do you find helpful?

[PizzaMondo]

@D1ng0 Mmm, I can imagine, and also can recognise that this can be hurtful to us when we really just want the support too, especially from certain members who just truly have no capacity.

Are you still in close contact with this family member who was not supportive of your transition? I'm sorry you have had to experience those responses from those close to you. That cannot have been busy, nor now.

I enjoy sharing too, so I appreciate your words. I feel that is important in Peer Support, because our individual mental health journeys can feel extremely lonely and isolating at times, like we are the only one on this path.. but hey, friendly reminder, I'm here on it too! 😛

This makes me really frustrated and sad to hear that you had a run of bad luck with online support services, and know that you are not alone, it is not one size fits all, after all! I am curious if you've ever used the support services at Q life? https://qlife.org.au/ I only share this as you had mentioned in your reply just before around transition. I have had a few friends who have used their webchat service and found it beneficial as the counsellors online are LGBTQIA+ identifying - which is really cool! However, sorry if I misunderstood your message and have made this suggestion that does not make sense...

[Dimity]

@D1ng0 I use the free version of Daylio. There's a subscription version with more bells and whistles.

Hope work is interesting enough to provide you some positive reinforcement - even if stressful at times.

[D1ng0]

@PizzaMondo Yeah, it does feel really rough. I can't force anyone to support me, and I feel selfish if I emphasise how much I'm struggling, especially because the response I often get is, "you'll be okay"... so it doesn't seem worth having the conversation at all.

Yeah nah, I talk to that family member occasionally, but we're not in close contact. (For reference though, I'm not in close contact with anyone.) The advice I get is from them usually very dismissive and unhelpful, and makes my mental health worse, so that's another situation where I'm usually better off isolated. But my sex change process is finished now, and I'm completely socially transitioned, so there's nothing that this family member can do about that lol

Thank you for the reminder 😊

Yes, I have heard of QLife, I've had mixed experiences with them. I think it's a bit inevitable because the community is so diverse. I usually end up speaking with someone who isn't trans, and doesn't really know what to say to me. I tried their online chat, but it wasn't too helpful, as the advice basically amounted to, "see a therapist," and then we were out of time. So yeah, pretty hit-and-miss. I'm sure it's really helpful for other community members, though. I think I have really bad luck tbh

[D1ng0]

Cheers @Dimity, will take a look at it and see whether it'd suit me. And thanks for the well-wishes, I hope you're having a good one, too.

[George_23]

Hi, I am just reading this. We sound very familiar. How are you today?

[PizzaMondo]

Hello @George_23 🙂

I just wanted to give you a heads up - an easy way to connect and respond to someones post is by tagging them using the "@" sign in front of their name.. like I did for you - @George_23

Then they can receive a notification and connect more easily! Hope that helps 🙂

Warmest,
PizzaMondo 🙂