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Re: Far and Away

Thank you so much @Zoe7  .... 

 

We have one sort of diagnosis around one of the kids, but this is an entirely different ballgame, with some similar features, but that’s where it ends .... thankfully.  The psych dealing with that bd says that they will / are developing the skills to recover, but what WH appears to have rarely ever presents for diagnosis - they are known by how everyone else suffers from their behaviour around them and they can rarely be altered very much at all, because they don’t own any need to.

 

Big battles ahead now ..... new controlling behaviours and premeditated systems in place before “the discard” happened, but I am sooooo relieved that it’s now outside my door.  I will be climbing mountains all year, but there will be a life beyond the mess that I will just have to keep aiming for.

 

@Teej 

Re: Far and Away

Good Morning @Faith-and-Hope , glad you are back ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

 

I hope you can find moments of peace and recovery during this rough time.

 

Love Angels333 

Re: Far and Away

Good on you @Zoe7  for getting through all those boxes.  A big task,  but you did it. 

I hope you do get to the beach. 

Re: Far and Away

Thanks so much @Angels333 💕.  It’s good to be back.

 

@utopia 💕

Re: Far and Away

Morning @Zoe7 🦋💕 @outlander 💕

Re: Far and Away

@Faith-and-Hope Like you I am relieved that you will no longer have to deal with everything with WH and can start building your own life in whatever way you want. Of course there is so much you still need to contend with but the 'problem' is no longer yours. You will be there for your kids and there will be the inevitable pushing back from WH but whatever path you take and whatever you choose to do is now is yours to decide.That may not come straight away but there is light for you at the end of the tunnel and more hope that you can get to where you desire to go and find some peace in your life when you get there. You deserve nothing less Hon and I do hope it comes sooner rather than later for you and you can begin to live a life full of love, peace and happiness.

Re: Far and Away

Posted at the same time @Faith-and-Hope Good morning Hon Heart

Re: Far and Away

Thanks @utopia It was a big job but glad to have most of it done. Book sorting today then cleaning - but taking it slowly today. How are you Hon?

Re: Far and Away

Thanks so much @Zoe7 .  I feel it, but I am also having to practice “radical acceptance” in a very steep curve. 

 

WH has increased control over everything that is supposed to be divided to enable me to move on, and has moved back into our condensed living space (yep ....  not even going to try to reach for emojis around this one ....) where he can parade his New Person of Romantic Interest all over what was our life, and right outside my door, all over everyone and every place that was part of our life here, and in my absence did something similar over here in the west, as a visitation, but as rudely invalidating as he could be without losing social standing.  As it has been, it’s all smoke and mirrors and dancing in the shadows.  

 

As far as I am concerned, it’s all just ticking more boxes towards a potential future diagnosis ..... but tiresome and abusive in the process.  The disordered eating patterns fit the picture too - there are invariably addictions attached to this thing, but as the “driver” behind it all emerges, it shows that rather than being on a wrong track with everything I have looked at up until now, it actually appears (by what I am reading about the condition( to encompass all of it.

 

I am finding my sense of empathy parked to one side though, and I think that is both important and necessary in regard to self-preservation moving forward.  There are legs people involved, and it looks like that is our future for the moment ..... 

 

The kids are awash, but coping day to day.  Unfortunately the change in our status also means that I can’t talk to them in any depth at all about what is going on.  All I can do is shoulder as much grace-under-fire as I can, and keep taking the baby steps forward.  That much hasn’t changed.

 

Thank you so, so much to you, and everyone else, who kept posting to me while I was away, and unable to post back.  It was the biggest comfort knowing that I was here even when I wasn’t.

 

❤️

Re: Far and Away

I cannot believe he has moved back into the condensed living space - and even more so parading this new women in front of everyone - utter contempt on his behalf - so damn angry for you - grrrr!!!!!!

 

No-one would blame you if you lost that grace and dignity with WH @Faith-and-Hope He certainly has no respect for you at all and that makes me very sad for you. But your true character shines through just as his now is ...and ultimately he will be the loser in all this because bot only has he pushed you away but the kids will see him for who he is as well. Those relationships are hard to get back once fractured. Protect yourself in any way you need to Hon, stand your ground and do not let him control to have that control. I do know that is very difficult - especially in the face of continued abuse - but you are strong. wise and smart and I have no doubt you can fight your way through this. Heart As for empathy - he does not deserve that at all - he has made his bed and illness or not it is time for him to lie in it.

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