Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[sash]

Hi, registered a while ago then ran away. Does anyone really hear? I thought parenting was hard, parenting a mentally ill 16 year old is beyond that by miles. I and my husband are stretched to our limits. He wants to fix it all and I want to give up and hide. Neither one is helpful.

[GlassHalfFull]

Hi Sash

my daughter is 16 and I hear you loud and clear. I knew 16 was going to be tough but when there is significant mental illness it seems like Mount Everest. I sometimes just wish for 'normal' teen problems.. Instead we are fighting this beast of a illness. It's hard for me to see her friends growing, developing their  independence, enjoying a social life seemingly carefree while my dtr is fighting to stay alive some days. 

My thoughts are with you!

[NewDawn]

Hi Sash, 

Congratulations in writing your first post, it can be difficult taking that step. It sounds like your husband and yourself have quite different ways of wanting to approach the suituation with your son, and you feel that both approaches arnt helping. It sounds like your feeling pretty discouraged at the momment. Im wondering if you can tell us abit more about what it has been like for you.

I do hope you find this forum to be a supportive place to share! 

NewDawn

[sash]

Thanks, It does help to know there are others with similar stories.

[sash]

don't care what she does (school, Tafe, work or even stay home) but I just want to see her active in life. When she does its great, just so many days are in bed not living. I get it because some days I feel exactly the same and do just that myself. It has been months since any need for hospital visits and she is coming to us most times she wants to SH but the 'not living' 'just breathing' is distressing me as much as being suicidal. I do actually believe that if she could she would, she is an intelligent, articulate young woman with so much potential . she has hopes and dreams just no will. My struggle, our struggle is how much do we let go and allow her to find her own way out?

[NikNik]

Hi @sash & @GlassHalfFull

It seems there are many parents here in the same boat. It can be really tough!

There's a great website called ReachOut who have a parents site (which has forums like this too!).

@Janna is one of our Community Guides who has a son around about the same age, who might be able to share some hope out of her story with her son.

Welcome again & I hope we continue to see you both around the Forums.

[GlassHalfFull]

Hi again.. I don't have any ground breaking advice but I can say your experience is so similar I literally thought your last post was my own. Same thoughts re: school,take,whatever just be healthy.. I've said the same thing so many times. It hurts knowing the potential they hold inside but the struggle inside is simply too much. I really hope your daughter finds her way through and yes maybe at some point we have to stand aside or maybe it's all in the language we use to support 'their journey'. 

Your in my thoughts!

[Snowdrop]

Have just come across your posting. Unfortuntely I cannot pass on any advise to you as I am in my 10th year of struggling with my son. The fact that I love him, and I know that he loves me does help - allthough I have to say that sometimes I think he doesn't like me and I don't much like him - but I know that that is all because of his symptoms and so I plod on.

Be pleased and take full note of every little achievement, every little thing that goes right - it helps to get you through those times when you don't know how you are going to cope.

I know that that sounds trite, and its not easy - but do try.

Also post on here. In the past 2 weeks that I have been posting I find it has made a difference to be able to post when things have gone wrong, and on the two times that I had a little 'win' it was good to be able to post that as well.

Good luck, hang in there.