Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[BFree]

Hi, I'm not sure if being here will help me with what I'm going thru at the moment.
I have a loving family who are ready to support and take care of my children(2 daughters). But my problem is my husband doesn't like my family at all, he doesn't want my children to be close to them, being at my parents house. He doesn't want them to call my sisters aunties and my step dad their grandfather. He always says that only him, myself and the girls are family, no one else. I always argue with him because every time we have a conversation, he always blames my family, calls them names and thing that's inappropriate. Of course I will defend them. If he ask something but doesn't like the respond, calls me a liar. I'm just getting really tired of the same argument over and over again.
I miss my family and my children miss their grandparents. The worst thing is my family only lives 10 minutes away from me. He doesn't allow them to our house. Don't know what to do.

[Wanda]

Hi Be Free,

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like your really missing spending time with your family, and also value your children having time with them, but your husband’s views have meant that your time is restricted. It also sounds like you’re feeling frustrated that the same conversation is repeated again and again. I’m wondering how you would like things to look like? And what might be the first step in working towards this?

[pip]

Hi @BFree. May I inquire if your hubby initially got along well with your family? My ex is one of 6, 2 here in Oz, 2 in N.Z and 2 in England. My hubby's parents caused no end of problems between me and him. They verbally abused me, questioned everything I said or did. My ex stood by and let them say and do whatever they liked. If your parents treated your hubby great, like he was part of the family, ask him what the problem is. If there is a genuine problem between them, try talking to parents (alone), then talk to hubby (alone). How are you with his family? Sometimes even the most well-meaning families can cause all sorts of problems between husbands' and wives. If he simply doesn't like them (a personality clash), you may have to limit time with them. He does have a valid point when he says 'family' consists of husband, wife and off-spring. In-laws, aka outlaws. If you were having problems with his family, he would be in a similar situation to you. I'm not defending him, nor you, I have seen so many relationships falter through in-law problems.

[BFree]

Wanda, we really miss spending time with my family. He gets upset even if we were there for just a few hours. Nothing we do is right. He always blames my family for everything that's gone wrong in our house. Felt like I want to have time away from him and his negative mind😔.

[Princessmolly]

Bfree has he always disliked your family, has somrthing happened between them or is he just trying to control you.