Lived Experience Forum

[eth]

I hear you @Adge  loud and clear.  I'm here for you.  I acknowledged that it's not only women who get abused in my presentation yesterday xx

Thanks a lot @Zoe7  xx

[Adge]

Thanks @eth I was not meaning to butt in - just affirming that I fit that category too (SA & long-term A survivor).

White Knott Day leaves male survivors out - it only includes women & children.

I was a child once, that's when it mostly happened (into adulthood).

I cannot usually do all-male groups (despite other's expectations) - because that is too triggering.

That is a common experience for male survivors - because the perpetrators were often (not always) male.

Adge

[Former-Member]

@Mazarita 

@Adge 

@Zoe7 

@Shaz51 

@Flying_Hams 

@Appleblossom 

@saturnzoon 

Can someone explain to me what im able to say on what threads.

I dont understand at all.

I just respond to peoples concerns but apparently thats not right cause i got told to not speak. Ive been silenced all my life! Now i come on here & get told to shut up. Why?

I dont understand what each thread then wants of me unless its very specific like the one about EMDR which is what got me started on this. Someone was asking about it so i said id share my experiences

I just dont get it thats all. I thought it was about supporting each other no matter if theyre having a good day or a bad day. Just accepting thats where the person is right now.

[Zoe7]

I can certainly see your dilemma @Former-Member It was not a conversation your started and whilst it may not have been the appropriate thread to have that conversation it was the direction it took. You did not start that and were simply responding to a post by @saturnzoon In doing that you did nothing wrong. Sometimes conversations do take a more serious turn on the Social threads and everyone both deserves support in those instances as well as should be respected to reply. Please do not let that deter you from sharing your experiences or views as you have just as much right to have those as anyone else here. 

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7 

Thanks for your response. I thought by tagging just one person it would eliminate that problem & make it more personal so the person felt heard & supported leaving others to chat.

I still dont know what im supposed to talk about on a long rave

I mean i dont understand what social threads r & what others r unless theyre very specific

[Former-Member]

@eth 

Totally as 3 of my bros got badly abused by my parents

One isnt around anymore & other 2 r quite a mess

[Zoe7]

I would have done exactly the same @Former-Member - I would not have let someone hanging with no support in that situation either. There were also responses by others on that thread so you were not the only one. By tagging the poster only you did support them and also did allow the conversation to go on around you both between others. Sometimes we need to let a conversation run its course in whatever thread it is on but the primary concern should always be not letting someone feel unsupported - that after all is the primary purpose of the forum.

The Long Rave is one of those threads where the conversation is always changing but is also one where you can tell some of your story ...as it says at the beginning as it is under Our Stories. It has become one of those threads where many have visited over time - some have come and gone but the essence of it remains the same - a place to connect with others, write what is on your mind and share your experiences. The title itself allows for anyone to vent or write lengthy posts - it is not exclusive and definitely somewhere you can unload whatever is on your mind.

[Former-Member]

@Adge 

I have 4 bros. 3 alive. 3 were severely abused. They were good people & now i can c the damage done to them very clearly. The one not here anymore said to me that i did the right thing to get away from family.

I told my mother im on this forum in the hope she would tell my bros. Sure enough she has. Its all i can do to help him cause he doesnt even know me.

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7 

Thanks so much for explaining it more clearly. I would never have thought to look up its origin at all.

I just get invited somewhere which i appreciate & go from there.

Its still all very new to me as i say this town is still all very new to me.

The locals here have their ways too & assume u get what they mean. Its funny i definitely am clicking with people like myself that have moved here in last few yrs. 

[Zoe7]

Sometmes it is also about finding where you 'fit in' too @Former-Member We all have threads that we visit more often and the conversations are based on a longer history of knowing those people over time. It can be disconcerting for some to join in on those threads especially when you are still finding your feet. In saying that though there should not be any thread that you do not feel that you cannot contribute to - we all have different experiences and our own unique knowledge to share and yours is just as valid and welcome as anyone elses. In saying that though inevitably in any community there will be groups that form in different corners of the wider community - please do not let that deter you though as all groups/communities change over time and it is only the participants that make it work - and new members are always welcome.